THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE CONTAINS LONG SENTENCES MADE OF WORDS…LIKE, MORE THAN 140 CHARACTERS LONG. IT MIGHT CAUSE HEADACHES, NAUSEAS, DIZZINESS AND MIGHT LEAVE A WEIRD AFTERTASTE IN YOUR MIND”
Over the years living mainly as a spectator observing the world and trying to make any sense out of it, I was lucky enough to hear many life stories, to have many chats with friends or random people and… Well, maybe luck has nothing to do with those encounters ! Maybe it is simply some sort of aura I have that attracts people in need of someone to share their story with. In fact, several times I met people – who later became friends – who were at the lowest tide in their life, so far. And I just happened to be right there and then. As usual, eager to hear another story about the world as seen from another point of view ; pleased to be able to talk to another human right when it’s not hiding behind its own multi-layered mask that society and its diktat of ‘normality‘ make us all wear. Vulnerable and twitching, that’s how I love to see a soul.
Anyway, I usually end up asking quite a few questions and letting the story get as personal, as real as my interlocutor allows it to be. My main interest, as always, is to realize, again and again, that we’re all the same. You, me, the one next to you and even the ugly one jumping in the back. Same shit, different details, that’s all. No judgements, no blame, no accusing fingers. Simply trying to understand humanity and what’s the fuss about.
Through the tales of others, I’ve lived an impressive lot of sadness, pains and troubles worst than those i’ve ever experienced myself. I’ve cried and often bit my lips with apprehension – well, the intensity of the emotion also depends on who tells the story, you know, the ethos pathos logos and all that crap.
I’ve also heard so much joys and wonderful moments of sheer happiness, which were so intense they made me feel happy too, I smiled and laughed as If I were there, even though I was a mere listener and I’m not the one who got into this crazy adventure or experienced that unique situation. No jealousy, no envy, no egoistic need to compare and compete. You simply listen and you identify yourself, in total empathy with another soul. I guess that’s the magic of story-telling and that’s why I’ve been in love with tales and wonders since I can read.
Like all of us, you say ? True, we all like stories. Well, most people REALLY like easy stories, the happily ever after kind you know ? The mind-controlling propaganda-ish cleaned-up-and-bleached stories made to shape this human society as it is, proper and tidy and maneuverable. Those stories usually live long, they’re not the issue… I mean, they are, but not right now at this point.
This point is, the true stories, the one with us as a hero, never giving up and going to the end of his own chosen path ; those one we believe in them at first. We grow up with them and they most certainly give us our first shape, the basics of the individual we want to become, because, as Nietzsche wrote – and not Lacoste – “Become who you are“.
But then, at some point, we stop caring and believing in our own story. When, somehow, it seems like adulthood requires us to give up on hopes and dreams and personal quests and society tells us that stories are good, for young humans, but that the active force of this world must focus on production rates, mortgage dues, reproductive missions, accumulations of numbers and growth of bellies and corporations.
Those stories then become ‘kids only‘ domain. Dreams become shattered memories and hopes become ghosts. And baaaam! Welcome to your ‘real‘ life, this is society, this is your job, this is your married partner, this is your next 40 years, this is who you are now. Have fun and don’t forget to save money before you die. And vote ! And buy Monsanto ! And watch TV ! A lot of it !!!
This is a caricature ! I hear you mind-protesting. Yeah, right… You might be just the one I was looking for, another one who thought the exact same thing but set those thoughts aside quickly because, well, there’s just so much to do, so why think ? And it hurts so much… Right…
Ironically enough, those who refuse to spend time thinking, introspecting, questioning, wondering, doubting, opposing, etc… Well, those are the first ones to judge others, blame, condemn, accuse, disdain, point at, and most dangerously KNOW !
I met those people. And you know what ? They were sometimes the very one telling me their story, appreciating my open-mindedness and my lack of judgement while they were sharing pretty intense choices or decisions, telling me stuff they did and dreams they had that do not fit my own lifestyle, but whatever you know… We’re all the same and all different. So I listened and I allowed them to think differently, while on the other hand, they were quick to judge my own choices and decisions. In the end, it felt like it was normal for me to accept them, but not normal for them to accept me. Or something like that. Not that I seek acceptance or support. True, this is enjoyable, but sometimes it’s better to be alone than in bad company. Classic.
Well…. here are a few thoughts, my own share of the story, my own take on the comments and advices I was so gracefully given by people who truly wanted to help me when they told me I should change my life to better fit their perception of it, while I was leaving them alone and not blaming them for running against the wall, since that’s what they seemed to really want to do. Why not, hey ? Everyone is free to do one’s own mistakes so one can learn and grow, hopefully. That’s the bitter element of every story. Hope.
(This is an everyday situation type-o-chat, without the questions, but you heard them before i’m sure. Any human living in the 21st century society daily experiences this kind of discussion, the pressure to be re-shaped and modified and adapted to fit a certain category, to play a certain function, to fulfill a certain need… Usually, the need of only a few. But I digress again)
Yes, I am ‘for real‘, as real as it gets.
Yes, I’m a 30 years old individual, with no ‘real job‘ as society calls it, since I decided to dedicate my life to arts and the process of creation. And nothing but that. I was destined to teach philosophy but thankfully realized early that this was even more meaningless than what I’m doing now. So yeah, I’m no banker, no trader, no plastic surgeon, no marketing director, no politician apprentice, no soldier, no phone reseller. If it means i’m nothing, then fair enough. I’m nothing. Totally cool with that.
Yes, I don’t know what I will be in 5 years, or 10, or 20 or if I even will be. What I know is that I won’t spend any of those years planning my whole existence so that I ‘saved’ enough money to keep my consumer role once i’m old. I won’t rearrange my life to fit your criteria, whether professional, personal, sexual, colorful, religious, fashionable, marketable, recyclable or any other aspect you seem to hold in such great respect it determines who you love and who you hate.
Yes, (they usually insist), even though I don’t know what I will be in 5 years, or 10, or 20 or if I even will be, I feel just fine about it. I know i’m breathing at this very moment and I appreciate that simple fact. You might think this is not ‘normal’, but what you really need to know is, I don’t want to be normal, I want to be myself.
Yes, I want to be myself, you heard me. And it’s hard. In fact, looking back at all those life stories I’ve heard so far, it becomes evident that, in our world today, this is but the hardest thing to do, which is why most of humanity is not even trying. With all the rules and the looks and the talks and those hateful un-saids causing so much un-dones… I don’t blame you for not trying, you lazy cowards basterds f*ckers, I know it’s hard and it’s taking its toll on me a little bit more everyday. But not trying when I know I can, this is the only thing I cannot do. This is how I try to lead my life, according to the holy trinity. Well, not the one you might think, you blessed arse.
My personal holy trinity is :
- the things I can change
- the things I cannot change
- the wisdom to know the difference.
You might know it, the ancient greece stoics made sure it reaches us. Yet, if they only knew… Anyway, I firmly believe that if one were to lead his life according to this simple trinity, one would find way less frustration and, most likely, a lot more happiness and enjoyment in one’s own life, without even having time to consider what’s going on in someone else’s. I leave it to you to understand how dramatically powerful this simple triad is (if you’re offended by my use of the word ‘trinity‘) though I might one day write longer about it, cos I know it can help a lot of other humans trying to find themselves in this world. Plan for later, one more on the list.
Yes, I have a lot of tattoos, a beard not daily shaved, clothes not necessarily new, I do smoke weed and I got no reason to hide it. We should never have to hide it. Though it might be considered a ‘crime‘ as regards to certain laws, I personally consider stupidity a more afflicting crime, most likely the plague of humanity, yet no law seems to be voted to make sure we get rid of it. And yes, while thinking about this aberration, I am smoking weed.
While we’re on this topic, and because it is yet another criteria to determine who’s ‘good‘ and who’s ‘bad‘, like tattoos, too long boy pants and too short girl hair… For those who criticize, for the governments, for the good-thinking politeness aficionados and all who think they know what’s ‘Truth‘ and what’s ‘Good‘ and what’s ‘Normal‘ :
I don’t kill, I don’t steal, I don’t plan wars, I don’t spread hatred through any means available for humanity – and oh numerous are they – I don’t plot against anyone, I don’t f*ck up someone’s life just so I can feel better about mine, I don’t lie and use and abuse people to make a living or reach higher spheres of that society or feel like I achieved something because I stepped on someone, I don’t backstab, I don’t condemn, I don’t judge over stereotypes or any of your pre-conceived ideas, I don’t criticize for the sole sake of being negative, I do my part not to bring down the global flow of energy which is already way too low, I don’t waste my time envying or drooling for what’s not mine, I don’t want to be a millionaire, I’m not letting my life be directed by numbers of any kind, I’m not basing any of my choices and decisions on self-interest, wealth, success, fame, popularity and certainly not according to what the majority think is normal.
Once again, I don’t want to be normal, I want to be myself.
I don’t bother you, even when you become something I could despise ; I’ll simply ignore you, no bad feeling, no grudge. All I ask is you do the same for me. If you don’t like who, what and how I am, simply leave me alone and walk away. I won’t follow you. I’m happy right where I stand right now. And I truly wish you could feel the same.
I wish one day we will all realize that we don’t have to live forever in this competitive and ego-centered society, fueled with money and elusive illusions, fooled simple-minded people and controlling selfish pricks who really don’t give a shit about you and me and only fear they won’t run out of humans to control. Fear not, humans keep reproducing, no matter what. More coming…
Ugh… It can be changed. But you need to change yourself. Get back to who you really are and stop being who that society wants you to be.
Bless you my foolish friends who prefer to be freaks and outcasts than sheep and statistics !
Bless you too, the one struggling to find oneself ! I wish you find it !
Bless you humanity, How you disappoint me and yet I always end up hoping you’ll get better !
I’m really not normal indeed.
~~~~ NOTES FOR THE READERS
If you find a description of yourself in any of those words above – including the smoking weed part – then you should stop hiding or being ashamed or feeling like you’re doing something wrong when, obviously, everybody else is acting way worst and yet they are the first ones to point fingers. Don’t give a sh*t how they act or what they think at all anyway, just do what you have to do, without being a nuisance to others. On the contrary, if you can elevate more than just yourself and spread some good on your way up, try and do it every time. Don’t be afraid to love and to smile and to share them with those around you.
Obviously, you’re free to share this post – though you should probably copy/paste certain parts only, as big blocks of text easily scare away online humans. I don’t care. I write this for myself so I can look at it from outside my head. And if I share it, this is because I really believe we’re all the same, and if even one person can read and realize he’s / she’s not alone having these kind of thoughts, then that will be worth it. That’s the same foolish motivation I had when I still wanted to teach. I keep it with me through the years because it helps me not to get too depressed about humanity all the time. That… and weed. :p
As a gift for you, for reading so many words, I hope… here is a real simple music video. Good music, good people, good vibes. All we need.
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, all is one
, fairy tale
, one is all
, Ubec CEO